i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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