we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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