How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
