I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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