Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
