a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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