She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
