Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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