White coat. Heels.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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