no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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