singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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