My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
