Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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