I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
