my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the condom got lost in my hair
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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