Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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