Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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