wanna go halves on a baby?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
