I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
