Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
