If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize