I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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