he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
