At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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