I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize