hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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