of course. lets lasso hookers.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
