please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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