Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jmkehl hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night

Fav 4 1259 727
share tweet
(309): View more from Illinois

is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?

Fav 42 1685 4402
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.

Fav 62 6516 1402
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.

Fav 22 4456 906
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

Fav 46 5087 1634
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...

Fav 36 1618 9657
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(269): View more from Michigan

Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

Fav 22 6730 1546
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood

Fav 6 581 400
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Lets get a boat first.

Fav 0 55 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT