he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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