Got a toothbrush?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There was a lot of him and a little penis
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
