It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
