chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i love accidental penises.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
