I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
