I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
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Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
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And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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