Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My vagina just clenched in fear
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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