I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
