Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
