This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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