No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize