Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
