Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She said her name was "party"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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