im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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