oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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