now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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