Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
