dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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