yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
