Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize