what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
