Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
