I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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