If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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