Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
