It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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