one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
