I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
