we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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