very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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