There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
