he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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