belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
