you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
