Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
