they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
