dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
